Lean On Me Now
by Normryl
Summary: Complete! Dr. Cox has to deal with his toughest challenge when he's at his most vulnerable. Will he allow the people who care about him help him through?Warnings: Non con sex, not graphic. Maybe some violence, blood and language.
1. This Parade

Title: Lean On Me Now  
Summary: Dr. Cox has to deal with his toughest challenge when he's at his most vulnerable. Will he allow the people who care about him help him through?  
Warnings: Non-con sex (rape), **not graphic**. Maybe some violence, blood and language.  
Notes: I've noticed a large amount of Elliot rape stories around and decided I'd best do my bit to help equal things out a little.  
Set sometime during season one, so Dr. Cox and Jordan aren't together. This is at the stage where they hate each other but still have sex occasionally, and Carla still calls JD 'Bambi'.  
The title and chapter titles come from the beautiful song 'Closer' by Travis.  
Reviews and constructive criticism welcomed.

This Parade

The moment he saw him, he knew something was wrong. And not in a trivial way, something was _really_ wrong.

The room was dark, only the dim street light outside illuminating his frame as he sat on the unoccupied bed. His arms were crossed in front of him, normal body language for him, but somehow it seemed different, more protective, desperate.

His eyes were vacant, staring ahead but shining in a way that told you that tears had or were going to be shed. That thought itself sent a shiver through JD.  
Walking at a steady pace, JD moved closer, treating Dr. Cox like a cornered animal and trying not to make any sudden movements for fear he'd frighten him and he'd attack. The closer he got to him, the harder it was to pretend that he was just imagining Dr. Cox shaking slightly.  
Feeling apprehensive about what he should do now, JD stood still and just watched Dr. Cox, wishing he'd knocked on the door or turned the light on before he walked so far into the room. He couldn't turn back now, but an unyielding fear was stopping him from saying anything, doing anything. He was literally frozen where he was.

Before he could bring himself to speak, JD's beeper sounded, making both JD and Dr. Cox look to where the sound was coming from. JD looked at it quickly before turning his attention to Dr. Cox, who was now looking at him. "I'm sorry." JD said automatically, apologising for what looked like spying on his mentor. It was after those words left his mouth that JD noticed the dark patch around Dr. Cox's mouth. He wasn't certain, but it looked like blood. He wanted to go over to him, see if he was okay and even as hard as it was to ignore his doctor's instincts, he had to do just that because knowing the older man he knew that would be the wrong move. "Are- are you okay?"

"Get out." came the almost whispered but equally fierce response.

Even knowing something was wrong, JD left quickly knowing that pursuing this now wouldn't help matters.

Dr. Cox turned away as JD left, returning to stare into oblivion. He knew he couldn't stay in this dark, deserted room forever. Now that JD had found him he was bound to mention it to someone and all he needed was for Carla to burst in here and demand to know what he was doing and that would be it. Although he swore to himself that he'd _never_ disclose what exactly had happened, he knew that someone as smart as Carla would work hard on trying to find out what was wrong and he wasn't sure that right now, he was strong enough to fend her off that well. The thought of anyone knowing the truth scared the hell out of him. This was something he wanted to take to the grave with him. That he was determined he would take to the grave with him.

The problem was he felt weak. Since it had happened, he had spent a good amount of time just sat on the floor. He'd eventually got himself together enough to drag himself up off the floor and managed to sit on the bed, where he still sat. But now more than any pain he was in he had something else drive him to do get himself together; fear.  
But he felt conflicted. He wanted to get back to normal, make sure no one noticed anything was wrong, but another part of him just felt so out of place and desperate to get away from here, out of this room, out of the tainted clothes and just scrub himself clean until he felt human again. Carefully sliding himself off the bed, he lowered his feet until they touched the floor. His legs still felt unsteady, but he gripped onto the bed until he felt like he could finally walk. He made his way to the door, but stopped short, noticing the bathroom that was in the room. He knew it made good sense to go in there, clean himself up first. That, of course, meant actually dealing with what had happened. He wasn't sure he was ready to do that, but he wasn't prepared to go outside without checking himself over. In a no win situation, he made his way into the small room. He switched the light on and then closed the door behind him.

TBC.

A/N: These chapters will probably be quite short. I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here. And for anyone who wants to know, I've not abandoned my other fics.


	2. The Words To Say

**Notes**: I'd just like to say thanks to all the reviews I've received so far. So thanks to FrozenStill, XAngst-PrincessX, grape soda queen and Ibiza.  
Also as a little bit of trivia, when I was reading what was on this morning, three out of four stories were about character rape. Sweet, huh? Anyway, on with the story.

The Words To Say

The doors were in sight.

All he had to do was walk straight through and if anyone spoke to him, he'd just ignore them. No one would be surprised by him doing that seeing as most thought he was an ignorant moron to start with.

"Oh, Dr. Cox."

'Damn' he cursed to himself under his breath. And he knew the voice to. If he'd had to guess the one intern that would stop him, it would have to be her. Barbie. He turned round, plastering the most vicious expression he could muster up, hoping to scare her enough into not bothering him at all. It didn't quite work. She noticed the thin cut by his lip and a slight discolouration on the skin around it and there was also a dark patch by his eye, both on the left side of his face.

"What did you do?" she asked, pointing to the damaged skin.

"I walked into a door." he said, sarcasm dripping from every word, even if Elliot didn't seem to notice it.

"Wow, what are the chances of that actually happening!" She said, smiling, missing the fact that he'd spoken the words for the cliché that they were.

"What did you actually want, Barbie. I'd sort of like to get home some time today." He asked, too tired to berate her like usual.

"Oh, I didn't really want you in that I just was asked to give this to you when I saw you." Elliot gave Dr Cox an envelope. He raised an eyebrow and looked at her rather than opening it. "It's from Carla, she's having a party for Turk and she wanted to invite you."

"I can't go." he said handing it back to Elliot.

"You need to RSVP then." Elliot said, trying to hand it back.

Dr Cox didn't take it. "I just did." he told her, before he turned and walked away.

Elliot watched him walk away, noticing he moved with a slight limp. He must have walked into the door really hard, she thought to herself.

* * *

JD left the hospital alone.  
Usually he'd go home with Turk and Carla but Turk was still in surgery and Carla had decided to wait for him and not seeing the point on both of them waiting, JD decided to walk home.  
Just after he walked through the doors, he noticed Dr. Cox's porsche still parked. He knew that the other man had left some time ago, there was no way he should still be here. JD's mind returned to earlier when he'd seen him in that empty room, just sitting there, and with the thought returned that uneasy feeling he had while he was there about something just being wrong. As JD walked nearer the car, not able to walk home without passing it, he noticed that Dr. Cox was still sitting in it. He felt a sense of relief because he relised he'd have been even more worried if he'd see the car was empty. 

Despite his general fear of Dr. Cox, JD knew he had to go and see if he was alright. Maybe he would just get shouted at and told to go away again, but he had to try.

He walked up to the car, Dr Cox just staring blankly ahead, much like he had been earlier. He knocked on the passenger window and saw Dr. Cox flinch slightly as his head snapped round to see what had made the noise. His eyes looked fierce and wild, but the anger seemed to evaporate when he saw it was JD standing there, crouching to look in through the window. JD couldn't quite work out the emotion on Dr. Cox's face. Really, he didn't look like there was anything there, that now he was vacant after the brief show of anger. He turned back around to face forward again and JD wasn't sure whether he should just walk away and act like he had just been saying goodbye, or stay. One thing was for sure was that he wasn't going to stay bent over peering through the window. Before JD could decide what to do, the engine sprang to life. JD quickly stepped away from the car as Dr Cox put it in reverse and backed out of the space he was parked before driving off. JD watched the car as it moved off into the distance, until he could no longer see it.

He then headed home himself.

TBC


	3. Unfinished Parts

Notes: I'd to request that if anyone who has read this can let me know if this is too confusing. I don't think it is, but then I'm writing it and know what's going on, so if anyone else has had any problems with following this, please let me know, and the more specific the better. Thanks in advance.

**Unfinished Parts**

The bright LED display of the clock stared at him.  
His shift started in 20 minutes yet he still stayed under the hot spray of water than ran down him. As he scrubbed his skin fiercely, eyes staying fixed on the clock so he didn't have to look at himself, he knew that even if he got out now, he'd still be late.  
Yet, it still didn't make him leave. Since he'd arrived home, all he'd done was shower. The water was running cold now, making him shiver, but he'd been shaking even when the water had been hot so he didn't notice so much.  
He continued scrubbing his skin red raw as he resigned himself to being late for his shift.

* * *

Dr. Cox walked through the doors of the hospital feeling every bit as awkward and uncomfortable as he had done yesterday. The feeling wasn't made any better when he saw Bob Kelso standing at the door, obviously waiting for this moment.

"Ah, Dr. Cox I was wondering what time you'd decide to turn up today." Dr. Kelso said. Silently, Kelso acknowledged Perry's appearance. He looked exhausted and not just from a bad nights sleep. He remembered how he'd looked when he'd found out that Jordan was cheating on him and he didn't look a million miles from that right now. He noticed that Perry hadn't shaved this morning and he had some obvious bruising on his face. He didn't even want to know how that got there. But the thing that worried Kelso more than that was Perry's body language. He was no expert but he knew enough about people to know when something wasn't right. Perry's arms were crossed in front of him, not an unusual thing for him, but what was stranger was his averted gaze. Not once had Perry looked at him yet.

When Dr. Cox didn't explain his tardiness, Kelso continued. "I expect you to set a standard for the interns, Dr. Cox. If you can't manage to do that, then you should go home until you can." His words weren't as harsh as they might have been on any other day.

Perry walked past Dr Kelso without saying a word.

* * *

Elliot handed Carla the envelope.

"Don't tell me you didn't give it to him?" Carla asked, knowing Elliot was easily frightened, especially by Dr Cox.

"I gave it to him, he said he's not going though." Elliot replied.

"Did he say why?"

"No. You're probably better off asking him yourself." Elliot said, shrugging her shoulders. She wasn't bothered if Dr Cox came or not and she was sure Turk wouldn't want the guy there either, he was invited for Carla. "Oh, and check out the limp he got walking into the door." Elliot said, smiling as she walked off.

Carla sighed, wondering how she could convince Perry to come.

* * *

"Good to see you Dr..." Bob Kelso looked at the name badge of the intern whose name he couldn't remember. "Dorian."

"Dr Kelso." JD said. He learnt by now that you could never tell which way Kelso would go so for the most part, he stayed as neutral as he could until he could guess where things were going.

"I want you to work with Dr. Cox today. You could learn a thing or two from him, and we can all see you can use all the help you can get."

JD was slightly insulted by Kelso's impression of him and felt a little deflated. Usually the chance to work with Dr Cox would motivate him enough but his funny mood yesterday made JD apprehensive about it.

"Well then sport, run along and get learning." Kelso encouraged. He watched the younger doctor nervously walk away. He knew that he was the right person to be with Dr Cox right now. Hopefully, he'd be able to get Perry out of his funk.

* * *

"Have you see Dr. Cox anywhere?" JD asked leaning across the nurses station, directing the question at Carla.

"No Bambi, but if you do see him before me, tell him I want to know why he isn't coming to Turk's party." Carla said, as she continued to sort through some files in front of her.

JD was about to walk away when something stopped him, made he talk to Carla about Dr Cox's behaviour yesterday. "Did you speak to him yesterday?"

"Dr. Cox? I speak to him most days, JD."

"You didn't notice anything weird about him?"

Finally stopping what she was doing to give JD her full attention, she thought back to her brief conversations with him. "No he seemed fine. Why?"

"I don't know maybe it's me. I just caught him a couple of times really... I don't know... distant."

"He's probably just got a lot on his mind." Carla said, although she was now trying to think if she'd noticed anything herself.

"Do you know how he got that black eye and cut lip?"

"His got a black eye?" Carla asked, her concern now fully peaked.

"Kind of. It's more a side black eye." JD said, motioning to the area of skin next to his own eye.

"Elliot said he walked into a door." Carla said, still not believing that as a actual reason for him being hurt.

"I wonder what else he said to her?" JD wondered aloud.

"I'll keep my eye out for him, okay? Just let me know if he's okay."

"Sure thing." JD said.

He walked down the corridor a little way before he stopped. He let out a frustrated sigh before he paged Dr. Cox. He didn't believe for a minute that he'd be paged back, but it was worth a try. JD wasn't sure how he was supposed to work with Dr. Cox if he couldn't even find him. He guessed he'd have to go see Dr. Kelso and tell him he didn't know exactly where Dr. Cox was, even if that would get his mentor in trouble. He was starting to get a little concerned.  
Elliot walked past him just then stopping to stand next to him.

"You look like you've lost something?" she said.

"I have. Have you seen Dr. Cox?" JD asked.

"Last I saw he was heading into the bathroom." Elliot said, pointing to the mens room a little further down the hall.

"Thanks Elliot." JD said as he headed in that direction.

"Wait JD, that was about an hour ago, he won't still be in there." Elliot called after him.

"I've tried everywhere else." JD said as he went into the room, the door closing quietly behind him.

TBC.


	4. Broken Up

Notes: Quick thanks to Frozenstill, Xangst-PrincessX, Ibiza, scruby and grape soda queen.

**Broken Up**

"Dr. Cox?" JD called out.

The room, was empty but one of the cubicle doors was locked. "Dr. Cox, are you in here?" he asked again, still getting nothing back. He sent a page to Dr. Cox, then heard the unmistakable beeping of the pager. "Okay, I know that's you in there. Either that or you're someone who's stolen Dr Cox's pager and if you have, y-you better give it back." JD said.  
He heard the unmistakable sound of someone heaving. He waited until there was silence again before he spoke. "Unlock the door." he asked. He heard the flush of the system before he heard the lock click back on the door. He gently pushed on the door when it wasn't opened and saw Dr Cox sitting on the floor. Not the most hygienic place to be. He had a sheen to his skin from sweating and JD suspected he had a fever or bug hence the reason why he was sick as well. Dr. Cox's arm covered his stomach which he was clutching like he was in pain.  
JD put the back of his hand against the older man's forehead. He wasn't burning up, but he did have a temperature. He expected to get his hand swatted away for touching, hell, for even _thinking_ about touching Dr Cox, but it didn't happen. JD noticed that Dr. Cox was shaking as he had been yesterday.  
"Okay, we need to get you out of here." JD said. "You think you can make it without throwing up?"

"Where to?" Dr Cox asked, his voice quiet, his mouth was dry and tasted foul, he needed something to drink and a pack of mints.

"We'll go to the lounge first and see how you're doing and then I'm taking you home."

"I don't wanna go home." he weakly protested.

"You can't stay here, you're sick." JD replied. Before Dr. Cox could argue further, JD bent down and grabbed hold of his arm, noticing the fact that he flinched slightly at the touch. He was surprised by how hard it was to help haul Dr. Cox to his feet and realised it was because he was having to do the majority of the work, the other man was obviously in a bad way. Once he was on his own two feet, Dr. Cox soon became mobile and they headed towards the door, JD just holding onto Perry's arm still. He shrugged the hand away before they went outside. JD walked just to one side of Dr Cox watching him carefully in case he looked like he would pass out or his legs gave way.  
He heard Dr Cox moan slightly in pain. "Are you okay?" JD asked.  
Dr. Cox didn't answer. There was a look of pain etched into his features, letting JD know that this was exerting him enough, let alone talking as well.

They reached the lounge and JD was relieved to see it deserted. Dr. Cox made a beeline for the couch and sat heavily on it, resting his head in his hands. He took deep, steady breaths.  
JD watched his mentor struggling to keep control. He left the room for a moment, walking across to one of the Janitors cupboards and fetching out an empty bucket. He returned to the room and sat it down in front of Dr. Cox. "That's just in case." JD explained.

"Hurry up and do what you've got to do." Dr. Cox said.

"Okay, I'll be as quick as I can." JD said. He walked away, knowing he needed to tell Dr. Kelso that Dr. Cox needed time off now. As he was on his way, he walked past Carla.

"Bambi, you found Dr. Cox yet?" She asked.

"Yeah, he's in the lounge, but he's not well. I'm taking him home."

"Talk to Kelso." She said, as she walked towards the lounge to see her friend. When she got there, she was surprised to see him look so poorly. He was the sort of person to put on a front as much as possible, so seeing him like that, she knew he must be feeling really ill.

"Hey, baby." she said, affectionately. "You look awful." she said as she sat on the arm of the chair. She laid a hand on the back of his neck, but he moved backwards and away from the touch. She removed her hand from him. "Take it easy." she told him.

He continued to sit, hunched over and clutching his stomach for a while longer before he finally spoke to Carla. "Get out." he said, desperately.

She noticed the change to his breathing and realised he was going to be sick and didn't want her to see. She moved to the doorway and stood with her back to him. There was no door, otherwise she'd have left and closed it, but she didn't want anyone else to see him either. Once he'd finished, she went back in the room.  
"You'll be home soon." She said, as she sat by him again.

* * *

When JD arrived back at the hospital after taking Dr. Cox home, he went to find Turk and return the keys to him.

He found him in the canteen with Carla and Elliot sat with him. JD tossed them through the air as Turk gracefully grabbed them and in one fluid motion, pocketed them.

"Everything okay?" Carla asked.

"Yeah. I made sure Dr Cox got in okay and I told him I'd be back after my shift finished to check on him. I have the key to his Porsche, which I'm supposed to drop off for him on my way home."

"He's got you well trained." Elliot said, mocking JD.

"I'm doing a favour for a friend." JD defended himself.

"Don't listen, Bambi. Their just jealous."

"Jealous? Of what?" Turk asked.

"Yeah, 'Oh, I wish Dr. Cox would treat me like crap', oh hang on, he does!" Elliot replied.

"He doesn't treat people like crap!" Carla defended angrily. "If you can't see past what he says and see that there's a good person who cares and has been hurt before, then maybe you don't deserve to be treated any better than crap."

"Baby, calm down. We're not saying his an evil, terrible man, just that sometimes, well, he could be nicer." Turk said.

"Do you waste your time on people who don't get you?" Carla replied. "Would you try and justify yourself to him?"

"No-"

"But he should do it for you and Elliot."

"Guys, I don't think it's a big deal." JD said.

"I just don't know how you can think of him as a friend JD. He doesn't treat you like one." Elliot said.

"He's different to you guys." JD said.

"No one has to justify who they're friends with." Turk said.

"So, did he say if he thinks he'll be back tomorrow?" Elliot asked.

"He didn't say. I guess depends on if he feels better." JD said.

JD stood outside Dr. Cox's apartment, waiting for the door to be answered.

He'd already knocked three times, but figured if Dr Cox was still sick he might not be able to hear. Or he could have gone to sleep. JD also figured that he could be in worse condition than earlier and couldn't get to the door. He looked at the car keys in his hand, seeing the door key also attached to them. He sighed as he knocked once more, louder than before and then listened at the door for any movement or sound beyond the door. There was only silence and after another minute or two JD decided he had to go in, just to get some peace of mind for himself.

He slid the key into the lock and turned it, pushing the door open.

TBC.


	5. When I See You

**When I See You**

The first thing JD noticed was the mess. It wasn't excessively messy, but there were a few clothes scattered about and a large amount of bottles of alcohol almost everywhere he looked.

"Dr. Cox." JD called as he stood by the door. He really didn't want to go in any further, but he still hadn't made sure that the other doctor was okay. He closed the door behind him and walked in a little further. JD called for Perry again, but he still got no answer. He set the keys down on a table, certain that Dr Cox would be able to see them there later on.

He walked over to the coffee table, looking at the bottle of half drunk scotch there. He hoped Dr. Cox hadn't been drinking when he got home and the thought occurred to JD that maybe that was why Dr Cox had been sick earlier on. He felt a twinge of disappointment in his mentor, but dismissed it, seeing as he didn't know for certain. It might seem likely at the moment, but the way he'd been behaving earlier hadn't really looked like someone who had too much to drink.  
The sound of running water made JD realise Dr Cox must be in the shower. He walked down towards the room, not certain what to do. He realised the easiest thing would be to leave Dr Cox a note, telling him what he'd left his keys here.

Looking around for a pen, JD made his way back towards the the coffee table, assuming Dr Cox would use that table at some point later. He found a scrap of paper and a pencil lying around and scribbled a note out, telling the doctor where he could find his keys.

JD left the note on the table, certain Dr. Cox would see it when he came in the room. He moved towards the door and turned the handle, when a loud thud from the bathroom stopped him in his tracks.

He quickly made his way back to the bathroom and banged loudly on the door. "Dr. Cox?" he yelled, before opening the door.

As he did, he found the other man hastily grabbing a towel to protect his dignity, sitting on the floor.

"Are you okay?" JD asked, standing by the door.

"I slipped." Dr Cox said, staying where he was.

"I just dropped your car off. I left you a note, I was leaving and I heard..."

"Me fall." Perry finished off for him.

"Yeah. You sure you're okay?" JD asked, wondering why Perry hadn't got up yet.

"Would have been less humiliating if you hadn't walked in." Dr Cox said seriously.

"It's hardly humiliating." JD said. Dr Cox flicked his eyes upwards to lock with JD's before looking away immediately. JD knew that for whatever reason, Dr Cox did find this humiliating. Changing the subject, JD spoke again. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Can you pass my bathrobe, on the back of the door?" Dr Cox said, pointing next to JD. The young intern turned and saw a grey coloured robe hanging from the back of the door. He unhooked it and passed it down to Perry. He noticed Dr Cox's hands were still shaking.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"No, I'm not hungry." Perry replied as he put his arms through the sleeves of the robe.

"You need to eat. Maybe you'll stop shaking and falling over if you've got some food inside you."

"I'm not hungry." Perry restated.

"You have to eat. Let me make you a sandwich, even if you only have one bite it'll make me feel better. And if you don't eat any, I'll just have to stay here all night." JD tried, knowing how stubborn Perry was. That's why the next words surprised him so much. "

"Okay."

"Really?"

"Really."

"What do you like in your sandwich?" JD asked.

"It's my apartment, I like everything I keep here." Dr Cox said, slight irritation in his voice.

"Okay. I'll see what I can rustle up."

JD made his way into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It wasn't overly stocked with food, but then there seemed little point. Perry lived alone and spent a lot of hours at the hospital, he wouldn't really be coming home and cooking himself a meal. JD found some pepperoni and cheese and took them out, along with some mayonnaise. He heard the bathroom door open and watched as Perry walked out and across to another room, he assumed the bedroom.

JD found a loaf of bread and pulled two slices out. He spread a thin layer of mayonnaise onto the bread before adding a slice of pepperoni. He vaguely wondered if this was the best thing to be giving Perry, but assumed the older man would take out anything he didn't want. JD went to grab a slice of cheese but noticed that the dairy product was out of date. He looked for a bin and found one in the corner and opened it up and dropped the pack of cheese in. Something caught his eye in the bin, and he looked a little closer.

Not quite sure what it was still, JD, first looking to make sure Dr Cox wasn't standing watching him, bent in closer. He tentatively reached in and pulled out the item. It was fabric. He pulled it fully out, close enough so he could see it clearly. A piece of light blue fabric, with what looked like a purple stain on it. He looked puzzled by the item, but as JD unfolded the material, he realised what it was. It was boxer shorts. Boxer shorts with a blood stain on them.

JD dropped the item back into the bin like it had burnt him. Suddenly, it all made sense.  
He remembered when he'd found Dr Cox sitting in the empty room and how he'd looked hollow and then later when he'd seen him in the car and how he'd jumped at JD's presence.  
The limp, the bruising. JD took a deep breath. It couldn't be what he thought it was, there had to be a better, more reasonable explanation for everything. JD reached into the bin and pulled the pack of cheese back out and returned it to the fridge along with the other things he'd taken out. He found his own hands shaking now. He found a plate and put the sandwich on it.

Just then Dr Cox walked back through. He was wearing dark blue joggers and a long sleeved t-shirt.  
JD felt guilty just looking at Dr Cox. "Here's your sandwich." He hoped Dr Cox didn't notice anything strange about him.

Dr Cox sat on the stool next to where JD had prepared the sandwich. He stared down at the bread, not attempting to eat it. "Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"What? What did I say?" JD asked, not sure what Dr Cox was referring to.

Perry lowered his head so JD could hardly see his face. "That you'd stay if I didn't eat anything?"

"I just want you to eat." JD said. Perry looked away so JD couldn't see his reaction at all. "But even if you do, I'll still stay with you." JD sat there, just watching Dr Cox. He hardly reacted but he knew that it was what Perry wanted him to say. He needed someone here with him.

"I'm just gonna call Turk and let him know I won't be home."

Perry's head shot up and JD saw the tears in his eyes, which he dutifully ignored. "You can't say you're here."

"It's alright." JD reassured. He pulled out his cell and dialled Turk's number. "Hey Turk, listen I'm not gonna be home tonight... Yeah, I dropped Dr Cox's car off... yeah, tell Carla he was sleeping when I got here. Anyway, listen, I met with the hottest lady here. Her name? Caroline. Yeah... she really is. Okay, I've gotta go, she's coming back. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." JD cut off the conversation from Turk. He looked at Dr Cox. "Easy." He said.

Before JD said anything else, Perry did something that he never thought he'd see. His face crumpled as tears escaped his eyes.  
And JD sat in stunned silence as he watched his mentor breakdown in front of him.

And that was the moment he truly knew what had happened to Perry yesterday.  
He'd been raped.

TBC.


	6. When I Need You

**When I Need You**

JD looked at the time on the clock.

Almost 3am and he was sitting uncomfortably on Dr Cox's couch. There was no way he'd sleep tonight, but things hadn't been good here.  
Perry hated the fact he'd shown JD any emotion, so after he'd got his bearings back, he became quite violent. JD sat back as Dr Cox systematically wrecked his own apartment, smashing every breakable thing he could find.  
After that, he'd calmed down and sat for a while. Neither of them spoke. JD, who had been sitting on a stool went and sat on the couch, the opposite end to Dr Cox. After a while, Dr Cox seemed to snap out of his quiet state, looked at JD like he was some sort of wife beater, and made his way back to the bathroom. JD heard the water of the shower running and Dr Cox had been in there ever since. It was almost two hours ago since he'd gone in. He knew it was highly likely the water was cold if not freezing by now, but he knew that wouldn't matter to Perry.

JD wasn't sure whether Dr Cox assumed he knew what was happening here or not. He hadn't exactly hidden his feelings, but JD knew that was because he simply couldn't, but yet he'd not said a word about things either. JD had a feeling that this wouldn't be something Dr Cox wouldn't be able to ride out, he'd need more help than he could ever give him, but first thing was first, he needed Dr Cox to get over the shock and trauma of what had happened to him. He heard the water shut off and a few minute later, Dr Cox appeared. He was still very wet and had towels wrapped around him as though he were freezing cold. "Need more soap." he said simply, his voice flat and lifeless.

"I'll get you some." JD said, standing up off the couch. Any excuse to get out for a while. He wanted to help Perry so much, but it was a lot harder to support him than he'd ever imagined.

"There's money on the side." Perry said.

"I got it." JD said.

"I said take my god damn money!" Dr Cox yelled.

"Okay." JD said, surprised by how the words didn't frighten him as much as they would have at the hospital. He knew Dr Cox was scared right now and he didn't really mean to yell at JD, he just couldn't help himself. Casually as possible, JD continued, "Listen, I'm gonna get myself something to eat while I'm out, do you want anything else? I don't mean food, I mean anything." JD said, not wanting to make it sound like he was forcing Perry to eat. He'd be happy if he asked for something to eat, but knew that was unlikely.

"Painkillers. Scotch. Bandag..." He cut himself off before he finished the word.

JD tried not to react. It was damn hard though. He knew Perry wanted something to clean himself up with, try and stop any more bleeding, but he could hardly bring him anything like that back and pretend he didn't know the truth. If he thought he could handle it, JD would tell him he knew and that everything would be okay. But Dr Cox couldn't handle it. And JD wasn't sure things would be okay. "Painkillers and scotch. Got it." JD said. "You think of anything else, I got my phone so call me, okay?" JD headed to the door before he realised he didn't have a car.

"Take my car." Perry said, his voice back to flat. "Don't forget my money." he said nodding in the direction of where his wallet was left.

"Okay, won't be long." JD said.

* * *

When JD got back with the bag full of groceries, he wasn't surprised to see Dr Cox laying across his couch, bottle of almost empty scotch in his hand. He looked almost passed out.

"You okay?" he asked the man that looked back at him with bleary eyes.

"Where did you go?" Dr Cox asked.

"I went to the all night store down the street." JD answered.

"Thought you weren't leaving."

"You asked me to." JD replied.

"Oh." Dr Cox replied, seemingly genuinely surprised by the news.

JD wondered how much scotch he had while he was away. Dr Cox's eyes stayed half closed.

"You want to go to bed?" JD asked.

"Are you gonna go then?"

"No."

"Bed?"

"Gotta be better than sleeping here, right?"

"Do I need to change?"

"Nah, you can sleep in that." JD responded. He held out his hand for Perry to take hold of. He eventually managed it and JD pulled him to his feet. He helped take him through into the bedroom. "There you go, you're done. I'll let you get some sleep."

JD walked back into the lounge. He emptied the groceries from the bag. He took the shower gels through to the bathroom and left them by the side. He'd ended up getting six bottles, one of each variety that the brand did, thinking that would be plenty. He noticed that there were two bottles in the small bin and knew six would be more than enough. JD walked back into the lounge and through to the kitchen. He took out the old sliced cheese and replaced it with a new pack he'd got for him. Lastly, JD pulled out some chips, a bottle of scotch, painkillers and a small first aid kit he'd bought. He left the scotch on one side, put the painkillers and the kit together in the bathroom. Dr Cox could use whatever he needed from it and then then he could replace anything he used. JD would wait until Dr Cox felt better and then pretend that he had forgotten it. JD sat on one of the chairs. He wondered if Dr Cox's curved sofa would be any good to sleep on. It didn't look easy, but he was starting to feel sleepy enough to try it.

As he sat there, JD began to think about everything that had happened here tonight.  
He thought about whether or not Dr Cox would be able to work tomorrow and how he'd react to the people there. He thought about what he'd say to Turk when he asked him about the woman he'd hooked up with, whose name he'd forgotten. He thought about how awkward he'd feel if Carla asked him anything about Dr Cox and he had to lie.  
Then he wondered how Dr Cox could ever begin to get over this. And that thought more than any other was what kept JD awake for the rest of the night.

TBC.


	7. I Know You Will Be There With Me

**I Know You Will Be There With Me**

_The room was dark, small and claustrophobic. And **he** was there. _

_Standing at the door as the light outside slipped away and crashed him into darkness. There were words, meaningless and drowned out now as he moved across the room, faster than a man his size usually moved, not graceful, like a Movie monster, clumsy but powerful. So strong that he had no trouble knocking him off balance, man handled him easily, before he pushed him down to the ground. He hardly had time to brace for the impact before..._

Dr Cox woke with a gasp. His breathing was quick as though he'd woken from a nightmare. This was no nightmare though because the worse part of it was derived from real life. Rubbing a hand across his face tiredly, he pushed those thoughts back. He wouldn't think about this right now. He sat where he was for a few minutes.  
He was sweating but shivered involuntarily. He kicked off the blanket that covered him slightly, most of it having fallen off at some point during the night.  
He sat up, feeling the t-shirt he was wearing stuck to his back. He carefully moved off the bed, feeling his joggers sticking to him as well. He looked back at the sheet of his bed, noticing traces of blood on there again. He quickly ripped them off and bundled them up in his arms, making sure the blood stains were hidden somewhere in the middle.

He moved to the laundry basket in the corner of the room and shoved the sheet in there. He made his way out of his room and jumped a little as he saw the figure sat on his couch.

"Newbie." Dr Cox said. JD nodded slightly. "You should go home, get some sleep."

"I'm okay." JD said.

"I'm gonna take a shower." Dr Cox said. His voice was neutral, not giving anything away.

JD wondered what was going on in his head right now. "Are you working today?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"  
And there it was.  
Dr Cox's way of dealing with this was with a huge dollop of denial. JD nodded his head. "Well I should probably get home then and get a nap and then get ready for work." If this was how Dr Cox wanted to do things, then this was how it would be done.  
The one good thing was if he was at work JD could keep an eye on him.

"Right." Perry said.

"Oh, you mind if I call a cab before I leave, I just don't want to be sitting around in the street."

"Do I look like a charity case? You can get him to pick up from outside. Better yet, why not start walking and then you won't have to pay as much."

"I- I don't mind paying, I just don't want to wait any longer." JD said, unsure of how serious Dr Cox was.

"Well I don't want to see your damn pathetic face any longer, so get the hell out of my apartment." Dr Cox said, his voice was angry and irratated.

"Fine." JD said, his voice not able to hold back the anger he felt at Dr Cox's attitude. He got up and made his way to the door, making sure he slammed it after him.

* * *

JD had been as quiet as possible when he returned home and he was grateful he hadn't woken Carla or Turk up. It wasn't long before he heard them both getting up though. He felt as though he had only just laid down, yet in reality, it had been two hours. He groggily got up and made his way out of the bedroom. Both Carla and Turk looked round, surprised by JD's appearance.

"When did you get home?" Carla asked.

"Couple of hours ago." JD muttered, moving out into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. He needed the caffeine this morning.

"Why didn't you stay with you're lady all night?" Turk said.

"Uh, she was a bit of a control freak. Wouldn't let me shower before work, so I figured if I came home I could at least grab one here."

"How was Dr Cox last night?" Carla asked.

"Well, he seemed a little better. Sort of. He was asleep so... I didn't stay... long."

"Bambi, are you lying to me?" Carla demanded.

"No. He said he'd probably be back today so you can see for yourself. But he was a bit grumpy, so you might want to watch his temper."

Carla nodded, seemingly satisfied. "I can handle Dr Cox." She said, quietly.

* * *

JD felt strange being at the hospital today, acting like nothing was different.  
Of course, for everyone else nothing _was_ different. Dr Cox was acting he's normal self, but even more so, making sure everyone stayed away from him out of fear.  
He wasn't sure how Dr Cox could act so normal, especially after how he'd been last night.

"Hey buddy." Elliot said, standing next to JD, a big smile on her face.

"What's up with you?" JD asked, finding himself smiling back at her grin.

"I'm having the best day. I just treated this guy who said he could get me my own pony." Almost impossibly, her smile grew bigger.

"Elliot, a pony?" He laughed a little at the thought.

"I love ponies." she said. He smiled at her, but she noticed the smile begin to fade. "What's wrong? You can't be that against me having a pony."

"No. It's nothing."

"Come on, tell me. A problem shared..." Elliot said.

"It's delicate."

"Then lets go out for lunch. JD, I wanna help you like you help me all the time."

"Elliot, you always help me."

"Come on."

* * *

They sat on a bench away from the hospital. It was a quiet spot, no many people passing by. It was what JD had been looking for.  
He couldn't tell Elliot what was wrong, but he figured he could try and find away of comparing this to something else and seeing what her advice was. The trouble was, this problem wasn't like anything else.

"Well?" she prompted as she sipped on her cappuccino.

"Okay. There's a patient that I've got and I think that they might be having relationship issues."

Elliot nodded for JD to continue.  
"I think the husband is psychologically abusing her and I can't prove anything, but I think she needs help." JD noticed the irony in referring to Dr Cox as a female patient.

"Why do you think he's doing this then?"

"Things they've both said."

"You think it's bad between them?"

"I'm pretty worried about her mental state."

"You think she might do something?"

That thought, of Dr Cox doing something stupid, hadn't even entered JD's thoughts. That must have been obvious to Elliot as she just nodded her head. "Look, JD, if she hasn't admitted there's a problem, there's not a whole lot you can do right now. But, maybe the best thing you can do is be available for her, if she needs you and wants to talk about it. Because unless she wants to admit it, you won't ever get anywhere."

JD nodded slightly, thinking back to the early hours of the morning and Dr Cox's attitude. "Thanks Elliot, you've been a big help."

She smiled at him. "That's what friends are for."

TBC.


	8. I'll Never Leave You

Notes: Just want to run a quick ad here. I'm looking for a 'writing buddy'. Someone who, firstly loves Scrubs (and complete Dr Cox biased is an added bonus) and would be willing to beta my stories for me (so, someone who wants to read through and suggest changes and pick up spelling and grammar mistakes) and also to discuss plots with. I sometimes get an idea and can't work through it and I love to discuss ideas as well. If you're interested, please drop me a PM. Thanks.

Also made a few changes to the typo's I made.

**I'll Never Leave You**

JD thought about Elliot's words. He'd fretted for a while about Dr Cox and started to wonder whether he would be the type to do 'something stupid' but after much thought, he decided that he wasn't the kind to do that. At least he hoped.

JD realised his main problem in trying to rationalise what Dr Cox might or might not do was that he didn't really know him that well. He'd been at the hospital a few months and he really knew little about the guys personal life. He knew that he put on a front because he didn't like to get too close to people but he wasn't so hard underneath. He knew he had been married, but that he and Jordan had divorced, although he didn't know why. And he knew Dr Cox was about the best doctor at Sacred Heart. But none of that would help him to help Dr Cox. He knew all he could do was take on Elliot's advice and be there if he was needed, like he'd been needed last night.

Carla walked into the doctors lounge and saw JD in deep thought. "Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, fine thanks." JD smiled.

"Are you looking forward to Turks party?"

"Yeah, it should be great." JD looked at Carla and noticed her smile drop. She looked a little sad. "What's wrong?"

"I was hoping Dr Cox would come, that's all." Carla sighed.

"He's probably got plans."

"He doesn't do anything when he's not here. All he does is go home. Between me and you, he's hardly been on a date with anyone since he split up with Jordan. And I know that the only reason he wouldn't leave his place if there were some big sports event on, and there isn't anything. He just doesn't like Turk."

"Does that matter?"

"It does to me! I want him to be in my life. He's my friend. I don't want to feel like I can't invite him to important events in my life because he and Turk don't get on. I've known Dr Cox for a long time, and he's a nice guy, despite what he displays around here most of the day. I just wish he would come. For me."

"Maybe you should talk to him." JD suggested. He wasn't sure, given the situation, if it was a good idea, but maybe Dr Cox would open up to Carla. JD hoped so because he wasn't sure if he could handle this thing on his own.

"I guess it can't hurt. Thanks Bambi." Carla said, patting him on the arm as she walked off in search of Dr Cox.

"I've been looking for you." Carla said as she approached the table in the cafeteria where Dr Cox sat alone with a bottle of water held in his hand. He didn't acknowledge her presence. She sat in the seat opposite him. "I'm hoping you'll reconsider coming to Turk's party tonight."

"I'm not in a real party mood."

"Are you ever in a party mood?" Carla asked.

Dr Cox shrugged his shoulders and gave no answer. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Dr Cox answered quickly.

"Look, you don't have to talk to me, but please won't you come tonight. Even if all you do is have one drink and then leave, just please come."

Perry opened his mouth, ready to protest, make another excuse as to why he could go, but no words came out. He considered the fact that if he went home, he'd be alone again and didn't want to spend all night alone. "Okay, I'll come for a little bit."

"Thank you." Carla said. "And, if you do decide you want someone to talk to, you know where I am." Carla received a ghost of a smile on Dr Cox's lips before he looked back down at the water in front of him. "I know." he said.

The bar was packed tonight with co-workers from Sacred Heart. JD had to admit that Carla had done a great job of getting everyone to come.

As he made his way over to the bar, he was surprised to see Dr Cox sitting there, nursing a scotch in his hands, staring at the wood of the bar.

"JD." Turk yelled as he saw his best friend.

"Hey, Turk, having a good time?" JD asked. He'd have said happy birthday, but he'd already seen him at home and at work before coming to the party.

"Yeah, Carla did a great job getting everyone here." Turk said.

"Let me get you a drink." JD said. "Beer?"

"Yeah man. Hey Todd!" Turk yelled as he walked off to great another friend.

JD managed to get to the bar and ordered both he and Turk a beer. He felt like something other than an appletini tonight, although there was no saying he wouldn't revert to having one later.

He made his way through the crowds to stand next to Turk, Todd and Carla, who had just joined the two men.

"Here you go, man." JD said passing the bottle of beer to Turk.

Carla made her way over to JD. "I'm gonna go talk to Dr Cox. He's sat there with the same drink since he got here almost an hour ago."

"Maybe he just wants some space." JD said.

"Then why would he be sitting in a bar filled with people if he wanted some space?" Carla headed towards Perry.

JD had been angry with Dr Cox a lot of the day because of his behaviour this morning but he knew they were both scared. Dr Cox was scared of being alone, and JD was scared he wouldn't be able to help. He felt this was the only time he'd ever been needed by the older doctor and now that it was his time to prove that he was there if he ever needed him, he hadn't a clue what to do.

JD watched Carla talk to Perry, sitting on the stool next to him. JD couldn't be sure, but it didn't look like Dr Cox was answering her. She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder which he immediately shrugged away. Carla moved her hand away as though she'd been burnt. She said more words to him, yet he still didn't react She looked frustrated and seemed to look around the room for inspiration, before turning back to him and saying a few words. She stood there a while, JD still could only see Dr Cox's back and wasn't sure if he was speaking or not. Then Carla walked away. She didn't head back towards where JD and Turk were, instead she headed outside. JD gave his drink to The Todd and headed after her, keen to make sure she was okay, but also find out what Dr Cox had said to her, or not said, as the case maybe.

When he left the bar, she was just outside the door, looking forward but not moving anywhere.

"Carla?" She didn't answer him. He felt hesitant about moving closer to her. He heard her sniff and wondered if she was crying. He suspected she must be as it wasn't cold enough outside to be the result of the weather. "What did he say?" JD asked.

"Nothing. That's the problem." She turned round and JD saw the tears in her eyes. "We used to be so close. It's all because of me and Turk."

"Just because he doesn't like Turk, I'm sure that not the reason behind it." JD said.

"You don't understand, JD." Carla said. She couldn't tell JD about the date that she and Perry had been on a few years back, before he'd met and married Jordan. If she did that, she knew he'd tell Turk. And although they had never talked about things between them since, she knew that he had stronger feelings for her than she did for him. She hated that he was so alone right now.

"Look, I don't think it's down to you and Turk. If I tell you something, you promise you won't say anything?"

Carla looked a little concerned, but nodded her head nonetheless.

"Last night, I wasn't with a woman, I was with Dr Cox."

Carla was surprised. "I didn't know you were..."

"No, not like that. God, no. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I see Dr Cox as more of a father figure and that's just... weird."

"Totally." Carla agreed.

"He didn't want to be alone last night. I guess he's just having a tough time right now. Maybe he just feels a little left out, now you've got Turk, you know. He probably just needs to know you're still there if he needs you."

Carla nodded. "Thanks JD. Let's get back in before Turk misses us, huh?" Carla lead the way back to the door. Before she pulled it open, she hesitated. "If you knew something was wrong with him, you'd tell me, right?"

JD nodded. Carla walked back in and he followed, already feeling guilty about what he knew.

The night was coming to an end.

Most people had left already and just a few very drunk people remained, some dancing together, a few propped over the bar.

Carla and Turk had their arms around one another. "I had a great night, thank you baby." Turk said, kissing Carla.

"C'mon, let's get home before we have to start work."

"You staying round?" he asked.

She nodded. "You haven't had all your birthday presents yet." She smiled a wicked smile.

JD made his way to the bar, Dr Cox still sat in the same seat, although he'd had a few drinks now. He wasn't drunk though. "We're getting off in a bit."

Dr Cox looked round a little, and nodded his head, then turned back to continue drinking.

JD felt awkward as he followed Carla and Turk out the door, leaving Perry behind, but knew there was little he could do. Carla and Turk were out of the door, when the sound of breaking glass made JD look back round.

"Damn it." Perry cursed. JD wached the bartender come over to see what had happened. Perry stood up as shards of glass fell to the floor and clutched his right hand to his chest.

"Lemme see that?" The bartender said.

"I'm a doctor, for God's sake, I think I can take care of a little cut." Using his left hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out some money and handed it over. "That should cover things." Perry headed for the door, walking past JD without a word.

JD followed straight after.

Turk and Carla were waiting for JD over by their car. Carla hadn't drunk so she could drive them home, although JD had only had a beer and one appletini all night as well.

Carla noticed Dr Cox was bleeding.

"Dr Cox, you want me to take a look at that for you?" JD asked.

"Katie, I'll tell you the same thing I told the bartender, I'm a _doctor_ I can take care of it."

"It looks pretty bad." JD said.

Dr Cox pulled it away from his chest to look at it a little better. It was bleeding quite a bit, and there was the possibility of glass being stuck in it. "It's fine."

"How are you going to drive home?" Carla asked.

"I'll manage." Dr Cox said, still looking at his hand. It was cut quite badly across his palm which would make driving problematic to say the least.

"We can give you a lift." Carla said.

"I'm not leaving my Porsche parked outside a disgusting bar all night."

"JD can drive you home then." Carla said. Knowing that JD had been there for Dr Cox last night meant that there was a little hope he'd agree to this.

Dr Cox looked to be mulling it over before he pulled a face and shook his head, walking towards his car.

"Please, let him drive you home, I'll be worried if I think of you driving home like that." Carla said. "Or, if you really won't let JD drive you home, I could always get JD and Turk to tackle you, I'd steal your keys, we'd have you taken to Sacred Heart and let Nervous Guy take care of you."

Dr Cox paused from his walk away, turned back with a scowl on his face. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." Carla said.

"Okay, fine. But only to keep you happy, Carla. I mean, do you seriously think I'm scared of Jack and Jill tackling me." Before anyone could answer, Dr Cox, threw his keys at JD with his left hand. "Damage my car and I'll kill you."

"Thanks for this, Carla." JD said sarcastically. More for Turk's benefit. He knew Dr Cox really wanted him there, but he'd never admit it.

JD headed off with Dr Cox and Carla and Turk went to their car.

JD couldn't help comparing Dr Cox to a Jekyll and Hyde type character just now.

When he was at the hospital he was Dr Cox, slightly gruff but caring and an all round good guy. But away from the hospital, he was the Mr Hyde character; out of control.

JD had insisted on coming back to the apartment with Perry to sort out his hand. He'd dropped the act by then, no more pretending he didn't want JD to come back with him. JD knew he needed him to be there. JD had made Perry sit down while he grabbed the first aid kit from the other day. He washed the wound, washing away as much glass as he could. He then looked carefully. He couldn't see any more pieces of glass in the wound so bandaged it up. Once it was done, Perry sat there. Neither man said anything for a while. JD was surprised that Dr Cox broke the silence first.

"I'm sorry about the other morning. I shouldn't have done that."

"It's no problem. You were tired. I got over it."

"Anything could have happened to you. No one would have known where you were."

JD could see Dr Cox looked deep in thought at that. "I didn't go far. I waited for the cab downstairs. Wasn't wondering the streets or anything."

"Anyway, if you want to stay and let Carla and Turk have birthday sex, I won't kick you out this time. And, there's a spare room you can use rather than the couch."

"Thanks, it's kinda late, so I might take you up on that."

Perry nodded. "I'm going to bed, I gotta get some sleep." He rubbed his face and JD realised how exhausted he looked. "I'm taking my sleeping pills, so don't wake me. Unless I'm still sleeping at 9."

"Okay." JD said. He watched as Perry got up and walked down towards his bedroom.

"Oh, the spare room in opposite the bathroom."

"Thanks." JD watched as Perry walked away this time.

He wondered to himself if there was a way he could stay here longer. He knew Dr Cox wouldn't want to be alone for a while, and he decided if he could think of a genuine reason, he may be able to get a permanent invite. It saved waiting for Dr Cox to smash his hand up again.

JD knew one thing for certain, that was as long as Dr Cox needed him, he'd be there for him.

TBC


	9. Just Need To Get Closer

A/N: I really wanted to get this story finished before I went away, as I'm going to be absent for a week. Sadly, I didn't get it all completed, so I'm giving you what I've got. I'll either add more to this chapter when I return or I will add another on the end. Enjoy. And huge hanks to all the reviews.

Excuse any spelling and grammar mistakes, I shall sort them in the final post.

**Just Need To Get Closer**

JD had slept well in Perry's spare room.

The first thing he did upon waking was to check the time. He was surpised to see he'd woken early as it was 8.40. He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. After doing his morning routine, he went into the kitchen. There was no sign of Perry yet, so JD tried to be quiet. He searched through a few cupboards until he found the mugs and boiled the kettle as he made two coffee's. He put his on the side and then wondered whether Perry would want to be up by 9 or after 9, He decided to wait until 9 and then he'd wake him. He flipped on the TV and watched the news while he waited. When the 9am news report started, JD picked up Perry's coffee and made his way to the older man's bedroom. He knocked on the door and waited. He heard no response. He listened carefully at the door but heard no movement either. JD knocked a little louder but still got nothing back. JD opened the door.

The room was dark. Perry had thick curtains drawn across the window, obscuring the bright morning light.

"Dr Cox." JD called out. He moved into the room and towards the bed, making sure he moved slowly because he couldn't see where he was going. JD put the cup down on the nightstand and then went over to the curtains, hoping the light would help wake the doctor up. JD was relieved that this worked, because short of going over and shaking him awake, he was running out of ideas.

"What time is it?" Dr Cox tiredly mumbled.

"Nine. I made you coffee." JD said, motioning to the nightstand next to the bed.

Perry turned and saw the mug, steam floating off the top. "Thanks."

"I'm gonna take off then, get ready for work." JD said.

"You don't have to." Perry sat up a little in bed.

"Well I want to grab a shower and..."

"I do happen to have a shower here."

"I don't want to be a nuisance."

"You don't seem to mind at work."

"No, I mean because I need some clean clothes too."

"I'm sure I can find something that'll fit you. And if I have that much trouble I can always see if Jordan's left any of her skirts here."

"I also need a ride to work." JD said.

"This is why dogs don't talk." Perry said. "Just go and have your shower." He sighed as the intern left the room. He still acted like JD was a huge pain but he'd been relieved to have him here. He'd had a bad night, and when he'd woke up in the pitch black room, knowing that someone was with him in the house, just made him feel better. Safer, in a strange way. He wasn't sure why he felt safe with JD there, he wasn't exactly a threatening presence, but it was just good to have him there.

When he'd been awake, all he wanted to do was shower, get himself clean, but for some stupid reason, he never did. He told himself he didn't want to wake up JD. He wasn't sure whether he really didn't want to wake him up, or whether he'd used it as some sort of healing mechanism. He knew he couldn't stay locked up in the first stages of his trauma.

At some stage, he wasn't sure when exactly, but he'd accepted what had happened to him. As disgusting and sick as it all was, he had admitted it to himself, dealt with it the way he dealt with most strong emotions in his life, by pushing down the feelings it generated within him and acting as normal as he ever had done.

It was hard though. He had a feeling that newbie had some suspicions about what was happening here. He might not be right on the money, but even JD wasn't dumb enough to see all the changes that he was going through and how he'd reacted privately and not know something was up. But he'd done a good job keeping things quiet if he did know because things still felt normal at the hospital. Perry himself, felt different, but everyone else seemed normal. His paranoia the first day back there had been intense, but he knew better than to let that control him.

He reached across and picked up the coffee JD had made and he took a mouthful. It was drinkable and he drank it down quickly, thirstier than he thought. He vaguely realised that he hadn't been eating or drinking much, his appetitie was shot, but he knew he'd have to try and get something into his stomach before he made himself ill.

He noticed his bandaged hand and remembered the night before and smashing the glass. He prodded it gently and was certain there was still some glass in there somewhere. He'd have to let JD take care of it at the hospital when he was better equiped to check on him.

He rubbed his face tiredly, then got out of bed. The covers didn't feel as clammy as they had done recently, and the sheets were stain free as well. The boxers his wore weren't as lucky, but it was an improvement, he was bleeding less which was good. He tried to look at the whole thing as clinically as possible, because when it got too real, it freaked him out and he found it hard to cope. He figured whatever got him through the day was good enough.

He slipped the boxers off, threw them in the bin where most had ended up the last few days and fished through a drawer until he found another suitably dark pair. The best he could find was a dark gray. Still light enough to show any stain, but better than white. He slipped them on before moving to the wardrobe and collecting a pair of navy joggers and a plain white t-shirt. He grabbed another pair of joggers and t-shirt and a spare pair of boxers and socks and dropped them outside the bathroom door. He went straight through into the kitchen instead and decided he best have breakfast.

He made waffles and toast. He heard the water stop and the door opened and closed again. Perry guessed JD was going to dress in there.

Almost as soon as the waffles were ready, the bathroom door's lock clicked and JD emerged, fully dressed, but hair a scruffy pile.

Perry eyed him strangely and JD noticed the attention was on his hair. "I need to style my hair, okay?" JD said, defending himself.

"There should be some hairspray or mousse in there somewhere." Perry replied.

"Ah, you use it too." JD grinned.

"Again, it'll be Jordan's." Perry replied.

JD went back to the bathroom and after a few cupboards were opened, he found some mousse. Perry heard the squirting of it, before JD reappeared, his hair styled almost as usual. "It'll do." JD said. "So, why does Jordan still have so much stuff here?"

"Eat your waffles." Perry told him as he chewed on the toast. He didn't really want to talk too much about Jordan and their strange post-divorce relationship. He didn't understand it and he certainly didn't feel like trying to explain it to JD.

For his part, JD sat and ate his waffles in silence. He watched Perry eat half a slice of toast before giving up a throwing the rest away. "Not hungry?" JD asked.

"Seem to have lost my appetite recently." Perry said as he moved over to the sink and started washing the plate up. Suddenly stopping what he was doing, Perry looked round at JD, his brow creased in a frown. "What are you doing here?"

"You needed someone to drive you home and you told me I could stay." JD said nervously.

"I know that, I don't have amnesia, I mean, _why_ are you here?"

"I still don't get it." JD replied.

Perry rolled his eyes, shutting off the tap and putting the plate on the draining board. "Why, after the way I treat you, do you still want anything to do with me?"

"Oh. I don't know. I guess for the most part, I know that however you say it, you're right."

Perry smiled, but not a genuine smile. "I'm not always right."

"No one is." JD said.

"What if I was really wrong about something? What would you think of me then?"

"Well, I think that you're only human and that you'd probably learn something from it." JD wasn't sure whether Perry was talking about recent events, because he wasn't sure how they could have been Perry's fault in anyway. "I think it's always good to talk to people about these kind of things." JD added, wanting him to know that he was there if he needed him.

Perry looked at JD, his gaze as intense as always. "I'm getting a shower." With that he walked away.

Perry was strangely quiet as he drove himself and JD to work. JD felt uncomfortable with the silence, but just concentrated on the outside world.

They broke apart and went their seperate ways once reaching the hospital, neither speaking to the other.

JD had called Turk and asked him to bring in his scrubs. He never changed before he left work and as he'd been at Dr. Cox's all night he's had to come to work in the clothes he'd been lent. He had a while to wait before his shift started and he decided to look for someone he knew to hang out with.

He walked down the halls smiling at fellow interns and doctors he passed on the way. Then, for someone reason, he stopped.

He looked to his right and the room that was there. Room 213. The door was closed but no patient was in there. It was the room where he'd found Perry those few nights back.

Something told him to go in.

He opened the door.

The older man looked round. He was looking out the window.

"Should have known it was you." Perry commented. "I like to make sure though."

JD had noticed that times before Dr. Cox pretty much known who was behind him without looking, although he gathered this was just another of the side affects of what he'd been through. Right now, he felt he couldn't trust those instincts as he would have once before.

Perry had turned back around and was looking out the window.

JD walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed, just watching what Perry did for a while. He noticed Perry's shoulder's were tense. Eventually, when they had both been in the room long enough together, JD spoke. "What are you doing in here?"

"Looking out the window." Perry replied, not looking round.

"But why in here?"

He didn't react at first. He stood and continued to look away from JD, away from the room.

"I'm supposed to be confronting demons. I thought it'd be better to ignore them." His voice was quiet.

"You can't ignore them forever. They'll get the best of you otherwise." JD said. "Turn round."

"What if I can't?"

"You've already done it once." JD watched as Perry's head lowered. Then, slowly, he turned around. "Look at me." JD said. Surprisingly, Perry did. JD saw something in them he wasn't sure he could place, but figured it was about the closest thing to fear he thought he'd ever see in Dr. Cox's eyes. "It's just a room."

TBC


	10. Closer

Perry was quiet for a few moments before he spoke again. When he did, he sounded almost afraid of what JD's answer might be. "What do you know?"

"I don't _know_ anything. I've probably jumped to a lot of conclusions."

Perry looked away. "You know." he stated.

JD didn't know what to say. He'd never felt so out of his depth before. But there was one thing he'd wanted to know this whole time. Something that he couldn't ask anyone but Dr. Cox and he guessed that if he were to ever get the answer, now was the time to ask. "Look, I never wanted to talk about this... but, I just need to know one thing. Did you go to the police?"

Perry rolled his eyes. "Of course I did. What do you think, I'm a moron?"

"No, just..."

"It wasn't easy and it took me a while to actually get in there, but I did what I had to do."

"Good." It was all JD could say.

"Okay, now you need to do something for me. Never talk to me about this. Ever." Perry's eyes had resumed the normal intense look.

"I won't." JD said.

Perry took a deep breath and exhaled before he continued. His words were gentler.

"I don't need you to hang around me every minute of the day. I'm not fragile, I won't break." JD nodded in understanding. "But sometimes, maybe if it gets too much to be stuck in here all the time, you could come and watch a game with me. And that doesn't mean I want to talk about it, I never want to do that, it's just that I think you understand what I need. And you don't ask questions, and I need that."

JD just nodded again, realsing that Dr Cox had told him that he was needed.

"You know, you can always lean on me." JD said, sincerely.

"What am I, a girl?" Perry answered. "That would be you Sophie."

And JD smiled at that. Not because there was anything funny about it, but because it was classic Dr Cox. It was normal.

Before any more words could be spoken, the door to the room was opened and Carla walked in. She was a little surprised to see Dr Cox and JD in the room.

"Sorry." Carla said. "Did you want me to go?"

"No, it's just work talk." Dr Cox said.

"Bambi, Turk's looking for you. He's got your scrubs." Carla said.

"Oh, cool." Getting off the bed, JD walked towards the door. He looked back round as though he might say something. But no words came to him. He walked away, leaving Carla and Perry in the room alone.

Perry looked back round to the window. The world outside seemed to be buzzing.

Carla walked up next to him and looked out as well.

"What are we looking at?" She asked.

"Nothing." Perry replied. He reached over and pulled on the blinds cord, cutting out the light from outside and stopping their view of what was going on outside.

"Is everything okay? You've seemed a little weird lately."

Perry turned round, looking across the room. It was dark now, just like it had been the last time he'd been in here. But the door was open, and out there it was bright and he watched the people walking past. He didn't feel trapped. It _was_ just a room.

"Yeah, I'm fine now."

"You enjoy yourself last night?" Carla asked.

"Not really." Perry held up his still bandaged hand as to remind her of his injury.

"You had it looked at?"

"Newbie took care of it last night."

"Well, no offense to Bambi, but he's no nurse."

Carla took hold of Perry's uninjured hand and led him towards the door.

"Where are we going?" Perry asked.

"Leave it to me. I'm a nurse." Carla said. "I'm taking care of you."

Perry thought back to JD's words earlier, about being there for him. He realised that although he still had a long way to go, he knew that he would get through this.

"You get to experience my expert care and you'll realise why so many of my patients love Nurse Espinosa so much."

Perry smiled at her. "Show me what you got, baby."

JD stood at the nurses station, talking to Turk, his scrubs tucked under his arm. His eyes wandered over to the room he'd just left as Carla emerged with Dr Cox next to her. She was looking at his bandaged hand. And then JD noticed something. They were both smiling.

JD found himself smiling too.

He knew Perry would be okay. And if he did stumble along the way, he knew he had people who cared enough catch him before he fell.

"You okay?" Turk asked, noticing JD was distracted.

"Yeah. Let's get to work."

Fini

* * *

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this. Not sure I'm 100 happy with the ending. Feedback appreciated. A beta'd version of the whole story will be up soon. Any changes you feel should be made, please let me know and I shall make them before the story is re-posted.

Thanks for reading.


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